top of page

Heaven Must Wait by Louis Faber

He said he sent God an email

but got no response until, after three days,

he got a bounce back saying the account

had been closed for lack of payment.

A few hours on the internet yielded

a heavenly website, and after another hour

digging down into the site map, he found

a tiny hot link to the Contact Us page,

and there a phone number he

immediately called. What could be better

than asking God directly, he figured.

He should have known better, and did

when on the third ring the phone was answered

and the recording began, "For Jewish, Press 1;

for Catholic and most Protestants, Press 2;

for Muslims, Press 3; For atheists

and non-believers, Press 4.

He pressed two and was told the office

was only open for calls on Sunday from 6 AM

until noon, and occasional Saturday afternoons.

Unsatisfied he called back, pressed 1 and learned

the phone would only be answered Friday night or

Saturday, though he doubted anyone worked then.

He tried 4 on the next call and was transferred

to a line that seemed to be answered in Norwegian

by someone who he thought said was in the branch

office in Stjordal in Nord-Trondelag.

The afternoon was growing short

and he realized he didn't really care

about the answer, wasn't sure

he'd believe it anyway.


Louis Faber is a poet now living in Florida with is wife and cat (editor). His work has previously appeared in Constellations, Alchemy Spoon (U.K.), Arena Magazine (Australia), Dreich (Scotland), Atlanta Review, The Poet (U.K.), Glimpse, Defenestration, South Shore Review (Canada), Rattle, Pearl, Midstream, European Judaism, The South Carolina Review and Worcester Review, among many others, and has been nominated for a Pushcart Prize. A book, The Right to Depart was published by Plain View Press.


You Will Never Know - Phantoms


Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page