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Disorganized Attachment: The Bird by Sara Amis


One time, when I was still falling

in love with you, a bird hit

the front of the car we were in.

From the backseat, we laughed,

heckled the driver, asked where

the bird had gone. After stretching

hours, when we pulled into our

second home, we found the bird,

mangled, trapped in the iron mouth

of the car, an invasive predator.

They got it out with a pair

of kitchen tongs and oven mitts.

I wondered if you were squeamish

like me—if you started at the sight

of blood, hollow bones meant

for escape; if you would gnash

me between your teeth and feel me

sliding down your throat, stopping

laughter barely bobbing in the apple.

The bird traveled with us for hours,

and with me for years, and I

don’t know if you remember,

if you gave it enough respect to



One time, when I was forcing myself

out of love with you, I remembered

watching the bird, moments before

impact, hovering in the air, beating

hollow bones against the wind,

never moving an inch. Perpetually

fighting unseen foes, losing life

to one unexpected. When you

closed the door to my apartment,

I saw the mess of feathers and blood

and threw up, and I finally had my

answer: you did not have the decency

to stay, to see the wreckage, to face

the consequences. I haven’t moved

an inch, frozen in the same breath before



Sara Amis is a senior at Auburn University, double majoring in English - Creative Writing and Psychology. She grew up in Hendersonville, Tennessee, and she's been writing since she could figure out how to use a pencil (or crayon, she supposes). She aims to combine psychology and creative writing to help herself and others understand themselves and the world. Her writing is often driven by her knowledge, interest, and passion for psychology, as well as her own observations. Sara is excited to share her work with you and can be found on Instagram @sara.amis.

EDITOR'S SONG PAIRING:  Drake Elliott — The Bird That Hit Our Window


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